I've done my fair share of babysitting. I've spent time in church nurseries. I've rocked babies late into the night at YoungLives camp. And while it would be politically correct to say that all of the babies in the nursery are wonderful and adorable and a joy to watch, it's not completely true. There are always a couple of babies who are criers. Sure, they are all adorable. Sure, we know that they are probably sweet with their mamas at home. But trying to care for an inconsolable little one can fray your nerves a little. When we're being completely honest, it's a lot more of a joy to watch the little one who keeps smiling at you and wants to play with you than it is the one who is screaming and writhing in your arms with a snotty nose.
My easy, adorable, and wonderful child is smiley. She is sweet. She is precocious and funny and clever.
She just, unfortunately, is only those things when her mama or her daddy is within her sights.
Everyone tells me separation anxiety is a phase. The church nursery women are dear and kind and I know they still love my baby, but she has been pegged as "the crier" and it hurts my heart. I want everyone to adore my baby because I adore the bejeezes out of her. I want others to see how sweet and fun she is, not just see her all hot and sweaty from screaming.
My little one doesn't often leave me. I'm grateful for that. We've made tremendous financial sacrifices and learned to stretch meals with beans and eggs so that she doesn't have to be popped around to different caregivers. She has me, and she knows she wants just me. She's been left a few times with my mom, which went just fine. But even with my sister, come bedtime, our little girl lost it. She wanted her mama to cuddle her and she wasn't taking "mama will be home later" for an answer.
Babysitters aren't in the cards for us financially at all. We have been so blessed by offers to watch her from sweet friends, but honestly, going out isn't exactly in the cards either. The few times we have gone out, we've wanted to bring her with us. So we haven't had any dates just us since she's been born, either, but we're totally ok with that. We've wanted to spend the little time we've had as a family together.
So, all of that to say, I don't know how to make this better. We don't really have ways to practice this. We've got a wedding in less than two weeks and I have no idea how I'm going to leave her with the babysitter, who is a dear high school friend. I'm also supposed to be leaving her while I go to YoungLives camp for a week, and my entire insides tighten with anxiety every time I think about it.
Just know that she isn't really "that" baby. She's a baby doll, she just loves her mama!
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first of all, i can't even imagine waverly being anything but all smiles! :) she is such a joy! but second, i totally am right there with you! i hate when finn is fussy and everyone thinks he's "that baby" when normally he is such a love bug! i'll be praying for you and hope time apart gets less stressful for both you and little wavey baby.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for the 3 of you. As hard as it is for you to leave W now, it really will get better as she grows. Amelia runs into Sunday school, MDO or preschool without giving me a good bye hug, unless I ask for it. William finally walks into Sunday school and doesn't cry (and that's within the last few weeks he's stopped crying).
ReplyDeleteAs babies, both of our kids only were apart from me at church and had their separation issues too (William's have lasted longer). We rarely get out on a date, and the last time let our sitter put William to bed - that's a big deal for me (and him too!).
You're many steps ahead of me in the overnight department - my first night away from Amelia was when she was 2 - it was a practice run for us both for when I was going to be in the hospital having William. My first night away with William was when he was 2 - I snuck away for a girl's weekend. It's hard being away - I think even more for us mommies who stay home.
Eventually W will grow out of this. And in a way, you'll wish to have it back (as crazy as that sounds!). You can get thru this - and so can W. Sending extra prayers for you these next few weeks. :)
Oh, mama. I know how this feels!
ReplyDeleteI will say that it hurts my heart that she's been "pegged" as a crier. All kids go through this at one point or another. Sometimes it last a few weeks and sometimes it last months. For whatever reason, N doesn't like nursery at church and has anxiety when I drop her off even though she goes to others with no issue. W may just have the same vibe!
W is a precious girl in EVERY mood she's in and even though she's in the midst of this phase, it will get better.
Praying for you, dear friend. Call me anytime!