Job Transfer

Yesterday would have been the end of my maternity leave.

I can't even believe that society makes mommies go back to work after three measly months.  Somewhere in the Bible it talks about men who got married being given a year off of going to war and other such Biblical-times things so that they could stay home with their wives.  Well, there should be a modern day equivalent for mommies.

Our decision for me to stay home has stretched us (and our faith) exponentially.  It more than halved our income, and let's just say that our two incomes together were less than what some people our age make alone.

I love being home.  Parts of the transition have been a little confusing.  I've struggled a lot with guilt, stress over money, and knowing what my new job description is supposed to be.  But I'm so, so happy at home.  Honestly, that's been part of the guilt; am I supposed to be this happy?  Even more so, am I supposed to be this happy when my husband is working 14-hour days at three different jobs?

We've got a few things in the works that will allow to me have some income but still stay home, but in the meantime, we're satisfied with our decision.  The thing of it is that you can never have enough money to feel "comfortable" quitting a job to be home with babies.  But we believe God when He says that children are a heritage from Him, a gift and a blessing, and we believe that He is going to help us in providing for them.  And so far, He has.  We've purchased a few things for this baby, but haven't needed to buy one single thing; we have been that blessed by hand-me-downs, great thrift store and yard sale finds, and sweet, generous friends.

I happened to drive by my old school while shopping yesterday.  I got tears in my eyes while my mind walked through what the morning could have been like dropping her off at daycare for the first time.  It was a really good reality check for me, a reminder that as hard as it is to be struggling so much financially, this is the choice we made between what was ultimately two really hard choices- staying home and having no money, or being away from home and having money.  Either choice brings different stresses and different eases, but I'm glad we made the choice we did and we are sticking with it.

There are parts of my old job that I miss.  I miss the kids, I miss my team, I miss teaching literature.  I loved teaching literature.  Discussing a great book and seeing the meanings my kids found and the connections they made would literally give me goosebumps of happiness.  I hated, though, teaching grammar and I loathed grading papers.  (I loved reading my kids' stories, I just hating grading their grammar!)  I can't wait to read novels to my babies and help them write stories and essays.  

This new job, though?  I love it.  Sometimes it's a little lonely, or I get a little stressed when we've had a long day alone or there is laundry everywhere.  Sometimes I need a break.  Like I said earlier, I'm still adjusting in some ways, but we're working on a groove and it's getting good.  Really good.

Coming home from that shopping trip, I got on the highway and sat in traffic for fifteen minutes before it dawned on me...HOV.  High occupancy vehicle, baby.  That's us!  Baby and me!  I scooted over to the left and flew past all of the commuters, feeling like a cheater and giggling over the sweetness of the moment, like a little pat on the back that said, "This is good."

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