My sweet, adorable, funny, smart, adorable (did I mention adorable?) baby girl has horrible separation anxiety. She becomes a screaming, blubbering, red-faced, runny-nosed, teary-eyed mess when her mama leaves the room, and I'm all out of ideas.
It's to the point that my stomach starts tying in knots before we even walk out the door for church. I can't even imagine leaving her with a baby-sitter who is not one of her Grandmas because I don't want to put someone I care about through that. I know that it shows that my baby and I are well-bonded or whatever, but I thought this issue was supposed to come and go in spurts!
I will say that she is better if she has a familiar item to clutch, and this week she only cried for about half the time in nursery, which is a good thing. She got to ride around in a stroller and had a great time. Honestly, a huge part of the problem is that church time always interrupts morning nap time. Other morning activities often do as well, but if she's tired and cranky she has her mama right there and she just doesn't mind as much. (Honestly, she's otherwise not a baby who demands a strict schedule. We are pretty go-with-the-flow around here, which I'm really grateful for!)
One of my mom's friends wrote in a card to me at my baby shower, "Be a student of your child's character." I love that line, and I've really taken it to heart. I know that as her mama, it's my job to teach her and to train her up in the way she should go, but that line reminds me that my baby's heart is already moulded in amazing ways that were knit together by God before I held her in my arms. I love that while I am given the gift of being able to shape her values, manners, morals, theology, etc., I also have the gift of joyfully discovering who she is and who God created her to be.
I think my baby girl loves hard and faithfully. I think she desires closeness and security. I am glad that I get to be a recipient of that love from her, and that I can provide her with some closeness and security that is a shadow of the great her heavenly Father showers on her.
But baby girl, Mama needs to hear a sermon once in a while! Any new ideas or suggestions?
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Disclaimer: I'm no mama! But I've been on the other end of this stick quite a lot. Nannying for kids who are just not used to being apart from their mamas! From a positive reinforcement perspective (not a bribe...), make some awesome things happen with new people. Special treats, great toys. With you their at first. Just maybe have someone...say, ME, hold your baby RIGHT next to you and feed her yummy chantilly cream from bayside skillet ;) Start with babysteps! It will be easier as it goes, but i've seen it happen so many times (from the other side--- not knots in my belly, but going from a toddler who cried everytime I walked into the house, to a toddler who cried when I left). It works, but keep with it. Make it fun and tolerable for the both of you! Itty bitty babysteps.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with ya, sister. N STILL cries when I leave her in nursery! I know something I HAVEN'T been doing is preparing her for what's about to happen and I have total mom guilt from that. This past Sunday, I could have talked to her all the way to church about how she was going to nursery, to play with babies, to hang out with Miss Stefanie ... and I didn't. I still have it in my head that she's the six month old who doesn't understand what I'm saying.
ReplyDeleteShe's not. *sigh* So, perhaps we both can start talking about what's about to happen so they're a little more prepared? I know that if I make a quick exit, N usually settles down in just a minute or two after I'm gone. It's just that initial panic that's so hard.
Love you!