Really??

I happen to be an avid Saturday Night Live fan. I make skit references on a daily basis, most of which are returned with a blank stare. Only my husband really laughs with me. I guess we were made for each other.



My favorite part of SNL is Weekend Update. Not too long ago, they introduced a special segment called, "REALLY!?!" with Amy Poehler and Seth Myers. It was basically the two of them mocking some assanine situation the media had been talking about all week. Here is a favorite, for example:



Seth Meyers: Really, AIG? Really? You went on this retreat only six days after receiving an 85 billion dollar bailout? Really? Even the mafia knows not spend money that soon after a heist. I mean, really!

Amy Poehler: Really! And the retreat was planned to recognize AIG’s top earners? Really? What does it take to be a top earner at AIG right now? Did you sell your office furniture on Craigslist? Seth Meyers: I mean, Really!

Amy Poehler: Really!

Seth Meyers: And you spent $150,000 on banquets? Really? Was your waiter Prince? Did you hire robot chefs? You better have a robot chef, because, if there were any humans in the kitchen, you drank urine!

Amy Poehler: Yeah, you did! You really did! Really! And, and you defended the retreat, saying it had been planned before the bailout. That’s like going ahead with Grandma’s birthday party even though Grandma died three days ago. Really!

Seth Meyers: And Really, you had to go there for teambuilding? Here’s a cheaper way to do team building. You know all those empty sacks that used to be filled with money? Get in those and race.

Amy Poehler: Yeah! Really!

Seth Meyers: Really!

Amy Poehler: Also, the Federal Reserve on Wednesday agreed to provide AIG with a second 37 billion dollar loan, on top of the original 85 billion dollar loan. Yeah! Which brings us to a new segment we like to call, "Oh My Gosh, Are You Serious!?!"

Amy Poehler: Oh, my gosh! Are you serious, Federal Government?!

Seth Meyers: Are you really serious?!

Amy Poehler: Oh, my gosh! It’s like you gave your junkie cousin $100 for rent, and then you ran into him at the dog track, and you gave him another $37 billion! I mean, are you serious?!

Seth Meyers: Seriously, are you serious?!

Amy Poehler: Oh, my gosh!

Seth Meyers: Really!



So now, this is one of my favorite daily activities. It goes something like this:

Middle School Student: Mrs. Smith, can I have a marker, because he keeps stealing my pencil and I need to write my name on it.

Me: Really! You need to write your name in sharpie on your pencil? Really?!



or...



Student: Mrs. Smith, can I go to the bathroom?

Me: No, you just went.

Student: Yeah, but see, I have this thing where the doctor says I have a really small bladder and I just can't hold my pee for very long.

Me: Really? Did you just tell me that? Seriously? Really?



or...



Maryland voters: Oh hey, let's have slot machines in our state, and all of the extra tax revenue will go to support schools!

Me: Really?! You actually think that's going to create extra revenue for our schools, really? You don't think legislators are just going to redirect funding currently for schools once that slot money rolls in, so that education doesn't actually see any increase at all, really? You didn't notice when it went exactly that way in Illinois? You don't think the increase in crime and folks declaring bankruptcy because of gambling addictions is going to cost anything? You don't notice that the places chosen for the slots are already low-income areas, clearly exploiting the less advantaged? That's like tackling the Salvation Army Santa man at the Giant entrance, beating the crap out of him, taking his pot of change, and using all the money to buy cookies from brownie troop at the Giant exit. Oh my gosh, ARE YOU SERIOUS.

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