Friday, September 23, 2005

What I really do when I say I'm doing homework

Last night Alan filled me in on some of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. He asked me if I had ever seen the world's ugliest dog. I told him that working at an animal hospital for so long I certainly had seen my fair share of pooches only a mother could love. "No," he said, "You have not. Nothing can prepare you for this." He was right. Let me warn you, you may have nightmares after viewing view discretion is advised!

Dum da dummm!!!

Yikes! That is one ugly dog. Alan was right; nothing, NOTHING can prepare someone for that. According to,

Sam, the above-pictured canine, is a 14-year-old pedigreed Chinese crested owned by Susie Lockheed of Santa Barbara, California. In June 2005, Sam won the "World's Ugliest Dog" title at the Sonoma-Marin Fair contest for the third consecutive year. The Associated Press described Sam thusly:
"The tiny dog has no hair, if you don't count the yellowish-white tuft erupting from his head. His wrinkled brown skin is covered with splotches, a line of warts marches down his snout, his blind eyes are an alien, milky white, and a fleshy flap of skin hangs from his withered neck. And then there are the Austin Powers teeth that jut at odd angles. He's so ugly that even the judges recoiled when he was placed on the judging table . . ." Unfortunately, Sam is suffering from a number of age-related ailments (congestive heart failure, lung and kidney problems) and will probably make no more public appearances, so he may have to cede his "World's Ugliest Dog" crown in next year's competition.

Aw, poor Sam! He actually reminds me of a horror story I read in 4th grade from the book I ordered from the scholastic catalog about a boy who went to Mexico and brought home a sick, ugly puppy who needed a home and took him to the vet and discovered that it wasn't actually a puppy but an enormous, rabid rat. I had nightmares from that story for years. I also decided I was never going to bring home a puppy from Mexico.

So once I stopped freaking out, Alan showed me another website that has become in a very, very short time the love of my life. It's called Kitten War. ( Basically it's just a bunch of pictures of people's cats, and they put up two pictures at a time and you vote which one is cuter. As soon as you vote, another two pictures come up. It's pretty much the best thing in my life right now, especially because there are links for the "winningest" kittens and "losingest" kittens. It's amazing.

In other news...

Why don't we just use Fluffy and Sam as our new Homeland Security plan? Throw in some of the battle-scarred winningest kittens, and goodbye Bin Laden!

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