Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Birthday Therapy

Tonight, as of 8 pm on the dot, I am 28.

That's me, kickin' it old school.  With a Ritz cracker.  And awesome shoes!  (Mom, what happened to those shoes?)

I currently have a baby who is almost the same age I was in that photo.  My baby, who is absolutely perfect and precious and wonderful, has in the last week and a half become also become completely exhausting.

I mean, in a good way, of course.  She's moving and going and doing and learning and breaking and trying and tasting and moving

And being utterly adorable, of course.

Anyway, in honor of turning 28, I looked at my husband last night with wild, desperate eyes after the baby finally went down at 9:45 PM and said, "Babe.  I have got to get out of this house."

So I did.  I went to Wal Mart.  And I looked like I could have been featured on this website.  

I went to Wal Mart at 9:45 PM with no other objective than to buy myself somethin' snazzy, as birthday present to myself.  I went into the store with no list, no plan, no food to buy.  Major danger zone, and something I never do because, well...we'd go broke.  So it really was a special treat for myself.   

It was awesome.  I came home with basically the best bag of stuff ever, including, but not limited to, the following items.  I think they say a lot about who I am and what I value.  

1.  Hot pink zebra-striped "comfy pants" (as one of my bff's and I call them- don't be too jealous, Lish), size large from the kid's section, made of that amazing super-soft fleecy fuzzy material and covered in hearts.  Because there is nothing I cherish more than trading my jeans for fleece at any given moment.  They cost $1.73 and a large piece of my heart.  Forever.  I adore them.  So does my husband!  They are super sexy.

2.  Charcoal facial cleanser.  Because now that I'm official old, I have to take care of my skin!  I've been reading lately about the benefits of charcoal (what, you haven't?) and I was pretty excited to find this while looking around in the "natural" beauty section.  Can I just say that while I truly adore going out shopping with my little one, it was pretty nice to spend 15 minutes crouched on the floor with a furrowed brow, lost in thought while looking at beauty products in a store by myself?  

3.  80's Glam Sharpies and 1.4 Paper Mates.  Because, well, obviously.  And because, to quoth my beloved Anne to her beloved Gilbert, "I have a scratchy pen and I can't write love letters with a scratchy pen...or a sharp pen...or a stub pen.  So you'll only get that kind of letter from me when I have exactly the right kind of pen."  My soul knows that she would have found exactly in a turquoise-blue 1.4 Paper Mate.

4.  This.  POPCORN.  Because, I kid not, my family hunts this stuff with the same determination as a crack addict looking for a fix.  It is that good.  So good, in fact, that I had the following conversation with a Wal Mart employee:

"Um, excuse me?" I asked the kindly-looking middle-aged woman stocking shelves in the popcorn aisle.  "But do you know where I might be able to find more of this?" I held up my little lone bag of a different (and just not quite as good) flavor of popcorn.

"Oh honey...that stuff?  Follow me."  She looks at me knowingly and beckons me to follow her as she rounds the aisle back to the chips.

"Oh, bummer, I've already checked here!" I tell her, trying to mask my disappointment.

"Don't give up yet, girl!" she exclaims.  "You've gotta look behind the other bags.  They hide it, you know.  I don't know why, but they hide it."

"Hide it?  Really?" I am trying to figure out who "they" are.  Popcorn junkies?  Have they spent all their life savings on chocolate drizzle popcorn?  Are they sitting outside of Wal Mart holding signs that talk about how they have five hungry kids, collecting just enough change for another $2.50 bag?  Is this where my future lies?

"Yes, really."  She is still rifling among all manner of chips, pretzels and crunchies just for me.

"Well, I guess I'm not surprised.  It's really good stuff!"

Suddenly, she pulls aside a chip bag and we both light up like she hit the jackpot.  One hidden bag of chocolate drizzle popcorn, all for me.  She handed it over with a smile and a flourish.  

That lady was a saint.  I should have told her it was for my birthday, and that she made my night.  I walked in the door a completely renewed person.  Who knew a little shopping was all I needed?  Well, that, a few smiling prayers said into my pillow as I prayed for patience with my beloved little girl who is tuckering out her mama!  



  1. I LOVE THIS POST, especially the crack-like popcorn. ;) Can't wait to see you today! <3

  2. :). This post made me smile...ten times:). Glad you got a little shopping spree for your birthday, even if it was to the local Wal Mart! LOL.

  3. Everything about this is hilarious.


I love hearing from my readers! Thank you for taking the time to comment. All comments are reviewed before publishing.