Titus 2'day, based on Titus 2:3-5, is my regular Tuesday installment where I share the great advice others have given me about parenting or about what I'm learning along the way.
Sunday morning, I got to sleep in and I missed church. I had been up until past 3 am between hosting a bachelorette party and finishing up birthday party details. Hubby, however, decided to get up anyway and take Sweet Pea to church with him. This was their second outing together in 12 hours, since he'd taken her on a daddy-daughter date the night before for pizza and "dancing." (They listened to a band outside the restaurant, and Sweet Pea can't stop herself from dancing when someone drops a beat. In fact, here's a video, just 'cuz it's cute.)
Anyway, they came home after church to pick me up and head to my mom's. I hopped in the backseat next to my sweet daughter, glanced over, and chomped my big mouth shut.
Sweet Pea went to church dressed in a red plaid Christmas dress a size too big, with pink tights, no shoes and no headband.
You see, less than a week ago, my mom was telling me that I need to be easier on my husband as he learns how to be a dad. She told me that just because he does something differently than I do it doesn't mean it's bad, and that I might be expecting him to read my mind. He is an incredible dad; he takes such wonderful care of our little girl and thinks the world of her. My mom told me that when we were little, my dad would sometimes get us ready for church or some other outing, and we would come downstairs wearing the oddest assortment of clothes she had ever seen. She said she would get mad at him, and my dad couldn't see why she was upset; he thought we looked just beautiful. She said that looking back, she should have just smiled and thanked him for getting us ready.
My husband is the same way. He thinks Sweet Pea is just beautiful no matter what. (And don't get me wrong, I do too! I just really like her to wear adorable outfits with coordinating head wear and leggings and shoes.) He would think she was perfect whether she was in a $100 matching Janie and Jack outfit or a paper sack. Interestingly, he seems to feel the same about me, even though I roll my eyes at him all the time.
I'm glad that my mom gave me that advice. It reminds me of advice another friend gave me recently as she was cutting my hair and I was complaining about who knows what related to something my husband did or didn't do. She said, "Yes, but what was his intention?"
Oh. His intention? It's never to hurt me or harm me or mess up my day or make our baby look silly. His intention is to take care of us and make sure our baby is dressed warmly on a chilly, early-fall morning. His intention is to show us that he loves us.
So Sunday morning I bit my tongue and smiled. Well, except five minutes later I told him the story my mom told me, and told him that I wanted to be grouchy at him but I wasn't, and then we laughed together. But I think it still counts! (And dear nursery ladies...thanks for being sweet about the way my kid looked, and for telling my husband that Sweet Pea's tights really were such a light pink that they were practically white!)
What about you? How can you tell you husband is a great dad? What do you do to make sure you're not being too hard on him?