Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Ninja Baby

I think my baby might be a secret ninja.  She might be attending secret midnight ninja baby trainings.

She can fall asleep sitting up while I am reading a magazine.  No joke.  Last Friday I was holding her after reading her a book, and my new American Baby caught my eye.  I meant to just glance at it for a second, but I read almost an entire page before I was like, "Uh, why is she so quiet?  And still?  Oh, uh..."


She can even stay asleep while I reach for the closest camera and take a picture!

She can also get herself in and out of sticky, life-threatening situations, very much like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2, which is my favorite of the Mission Impossibles.  I just really like motorcycle chases!

Last night, I had some girlfriends over for our small group.  In the middle of tons of chatting on lots of subjects, I mentioned that our baby-proofing was basically complete (heck, I put in outlet covers when I was seven months pregnant!) but that I hadn't put away the fireplace tools yet.  I said something to the effect of, "Meh, I mean, she can wiggle around for sure, but she's not crawling and it's not like she can grab those tools or anything."

Her secret ninja baby super smarts heard this comment in her sleep (she might have the living room wired, I'm thinking) and she thought, "HAH!  I'll show her!"

This morning, we came downstairs and I set her on the floor while I grabbed her lunch for playgroup.  Not ten seconds had passed before I heard "CRRRRRRRASH!"  I knew instantly that it was the fireplace tools.  The split second of silence (which, coincidentally, it exactly enough time for a mama heart to explode) was followed by a howl.  I flew around the corner from the kitchen to find a completely uninjured, albeit surprised, baby.

Here is a re-enactment:
1.  I lay the baby down about 5 feet from the fireplace tools.
"Baby" on the left

2.  Baby performs some secret, fly-through the air ninja baby move and grabs hold of the fireplace tooks in the space of- literally- 10 seconds.

3.  The tools come crashing down, but baby senses them falling and warp-moves out of the way, Matrix-style.
This was how I found her.
I was so relieved she was ok.  Thankfully, our fireplace tools are cheapy and not very heavy, but still!  No bruises may grace my baby's perfect and beautiful face, thankyouverymuch.

She can also already hold her own bottle, as of 2.5 weeks ago.  Mad skillz, man.  It must be the work of Mr. Miyagi.


She's pretty amazing, our little one.  Well, that, or I'm a terrible parent.  Even though I failed Parenting 101 today, I'm glad she's ok.

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